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The Balance of Life & Death

Earlier this week I celebrated the upcoming birth of my dear friend's twins and here at the end of the week, I am mourning the death of my family's matriarch, my vavó (grandmother). A time like this reminds me that you cannot have one without the other. Death and life go hand in hand. They are two sides of the same coin.


There are few times in a person's life where they are shaken to the core with disbelief. I've never had children, but from what I've heard people dear to me say, having a child is one of those moments. You can't believe they are finally here on this earth and also can't believe they were never here to begin with. You can't imagine your life before them and you can't imagine life without them. It's an amazing feeling to cherish.


On the other hand, death is something I know very well. It is a time where it feels so surreal that person is no longer with us. You never knew life without them and now somehow you have to. You have to learn to live in this world that they are no longer apart of. You have to find something to fill the space that they once filled. You can't believe that they are physically gone from this earth. An empty void remains in their place and it is a feeling you want so badly to forget.

Sunrise on Sandy Pond Plymouth, MA

Lessons from Nature

I'm reminded of nature every time I think of this polarity, this irony. A beautiful landscape of colorful flowers maybe some mountains or a lake in the distance. Life and death apart it all. The colorful flowers gracing us because of the sun and the rain. Both needed for their short survival. Soon they return to the earth, where we all return, to fertilize the soil for more life. Without that death, new life cannot immerge. The flower almost sacrificing its life for the next to come. And on it goes. The cycle never ends.

Just as the sun. Every night it sets, leaving us with an amazing colorful sky, bringing the darkness. The darkness having its own unique beauty. Without this darkness, we wouldn't know the stars, the planets or the entire galaxy. There would be no wonder of the universe and its vastness. Without the darkness, there would be no plants. They need that light/dark period to survive; to rest in order to thrive. Resting bringing more and more life, to produce the seeds needed for the next generation.

And So Within

We have to remind ourselves that this is true for us. Without our darkness, we would not survive. Instead of pushing away the horrible feelings death (and sometimes birth) brings, invite it in. Sit with this darkness, let it be heard, seen and felt. Allow those feelings to come thru you to make space for something new. Letting the darkness create what you desire in this world. Integrating it into your being.

When you diminish or try to change that darkness, you limit yourself. Without realizing, you are hindering your growth. Just as the plant and flowers, you need that light/dark period to survive. We cannot be rainbows and butterflies 100% of the time. It is impossible. If there are rainbows there has to be rain, if there are butterflies there has to be worms, there's no getting around it.

Healing Ourselves

So why do we do it to ourselves? Why do we try to change our "bad" moods? Why do we only share the "good" things? We are all going thru every single one of these emotions, good and bad. It is all relevant in our journeys. What if expressing your darkness is the key to your success? What if your deepest demons is the way through to your deepest desires?

When the darkness shows itself to you, imagine it is the butterfly's cocoon. Holding you, allowing you to rest and refocus your energy to become what it is you always were, the butterfly. No longer are we going to "get out of our bad moods". We welcome the darkness with open arms. Listening with our highest selves, what is it you're teaching me today darkness? What is it you want to show me of myself? I am here to listen to you because I am you and you are me.

The Balance of Life & Death

Don't abandon yourself again. Enjoy the balance of life & death, both the light and dark. Stay with your darkness, without it there is no light and there is no you.

I love you,


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